TWO KINDS OF MAIL
By Tom Ryan


Bad news for the local branch
Of my fraternal organization.
We have been losing members
Due to aging population.

This has of course been common
In lodges throughout the nation.
And some don't find that membership
Is worth consideration.

It has been costing money
To send out our newsletter.
Our fine young president Ed
Said that e-mail would be better.

Ed said we'd save on postage
And the e-mail would be free.
He uses his own computer
And he pays the internet fee.

We like our fine young officers
Without them the club would fail.
But some of us are older men
With no knowledge of e-mail.

Our young recorder Tim
Uses the term snail mail
To describe the postal service.
His words must not prevail.

I have come to love the e-mail
But there are times when it will fail.
When I lose the internet for days
It's slower than regular mail.

I think of our mail carrier Karen
Bringing packages to our door.
With her cheery words and friendly smile
She makes our spirits soar.

Back in my grammar school days
Near the front of my English book
Was a photo of an airplane
At which I loved to look.

It was small and single-engined
On a mission that must not fail.
Painted boldly on its side
Was a sign that said U.S. Mail.

The caption beneath the photo
Has stood the test of time
Since the days of Ancient Greece.
Its a stanza that needs no rhyme.

"Neither snow nor rain
Nor heat, nor gloom of night
Stays these couriers
From the swift completion
Of their appointed rounds."*

*Herodotus, Fifth Century B.C.